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Here are some suggestions that I have put together for parents & carers who maybe  concerned that your child is being bullied, as well as information for you if you are affected by bullying

Are you being bullied ?

Bully Online is a great website with information that may help you.

Enable Scotland - a charity that works with people who have learning Disabilities. Please visit their wonderful website for help and information. 

Womans aid information about domestic abuse and violence towards women and children

The Refuge an excellent online resource showing young people what to expect in a refuge.

Here are some great websites to have a look at for parents/carers and professionals.

Learning Through Action

Bully Free Zone

- advice for parents, professionals and children

Childnet International - Keeping children safe online

Each - Supporting those affected by homophobic bullying

The Kids Coach - helps children and families understand each other better, working through various life issues. She provides coaching sessions, workshops and other information.

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Tips and hints for parents and carers who suspect that your child is being bullied.

Note:
Everyone reacts differently. These are just some of the signs to look out for.

 

 

 
  • Does your child seem afraid to go to school?
  • Are they suffering a lot from unexplained headaches, sickness?
  • Have they any unexplained bruises or cuts?
  • Have they become more withdrawn?
  • Are they avoiding going to certain places?
  • Have they lost interest in hobbies that they usually enjoy doing?
  • Is their school work suffering?
  • Have they become more moody and/or angry?
  • If you feel that your child is being bullied, it is important to give your child the support that they need, by sitting down with them and gradually building a conversation.

Here are some questions to help you get started -

  • How are they? How are they feeling?
  • Are they worried about anything?
  • How is school? Focus on their lessons and activities.
  • Ask about their friends.
  • Give them the space they need to talk through these issues.
  • Let them know, that together you will work out the best way to help them.

Some other things to consider


  • Ask to speak to their teacher to discuss options.
  • Teachers may not be aware of what is happening.
  • Ask the school what their anti-bullying policy is.
  • Make sure your child understands that what they tell you will be believed,
    and that they will be loved no matter what they tell you.     
    •

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, then use the tools above to gain an insight to what is happening to them.

If your child is being bullied, then this needs to be talked through sensitively with them. It's natural that you want to put an action plan together, to sort the problem out straight away, but there are many factors to consider. Gently give your child the space to talk it through with them;

·       Listening to your child is key! Everyone copes with bullying in different ways; they may not be   able to at first find the words to fully describe what's been happening to them.

·       Try and gain a picture of how long it's been going on.

·       Who is involved - do you know the children involved?

·       Is it happening within school hours and / or outside of school?

 

Gaining this information will help you work out how best to help your child.      

There are many charities such as Bullying UK and Kidscape, who offer not only support to children but also support for you, as the effects of bullying can affect the whole family.

It is tempting to go and speak to your child's teacher immediately and be angry at why this is happening to your child. Your child is your first priority. Gaining as much information as you can before you speak to the teacher calmly with all the facts will help enormously. Gaining the help of your child's teachers will be invaluable.

If your child has been physically attacked, then it's considered as an assault and the Police may need to be involved. The police are very aware of bullying and often have people who specialise in this area; they may be able to give you information. If your child is still being bullied whether physically and / or emotionally, make sure they write down and record what happens as this will be very helpful,

When you start to work towards putting a plan together to help your child, don't be afraid to ask for help from others, such as the charities I have mentioned above. Give some space to how you are feeling too and talk through these issues with someone you trust. If you have experienced bullying yourself in the past, then not only are you affected by what is happening to your child, but it may also bring up things in your own life that you wish you could forget. As I said before, no two people cope with bullying in the same way. Make sure you receive the support you need to be able to look at your child's circumstances objectively

One of the key aspects surrounding bullying is body language. It's very common for someone who is being bullied, to appear like they are not there, hoping to not draw any attention to themselves, but often it can have exactly the opposite effect. From personal experience when I was being bullied, I saw a lot of the ground and not much of the sky, my whole body looked vulnerable which unfortunately made me an easy target.

Giving your child the tools to help them talk through how they are feeling, to help them understand that it's not their fault and how much you love them, will go along way to help them through this very difficult circumstances. Spending quality time with them will slowly help to build their confidence up again. Review what they enjoy doing, help them to build other healthy interests, suggest they invite friends around who you know will be beneficial to your son or daughter.      

A lot of people who are being bullied, whether they are children or adults, loose interest in enjoying things, they want to be kept safe and not be anywhere where they may be vulnerable to attacks whether physically or emotionally. How can you help?

Bullying affects thousands of people every year. You may not think about bullying until it directly affects you. Building on the work of the schools anti-bullying policy, will help children to grow and develop in safety. If we are able to address these issues as a community, better help and advice can be given to those who need it.

Let's not wait until another child is affected by bullying. We can all question our schools and ask what they are doing to try and stop bullying, but bullying affects us all, we need to work together to stop it.

.

Notice

I would like to point out that this information is my opinion and interpretation and as such does not constitute as medical or legal advice.

The information above is a just some suggestions that I have put together. Please seek further advice from your doctor and health professionals. For professional help and advice re bullying please visit www.bullying.co.uk